As many of you already know, we are expecting a little "surprise" on January 23rd. I was absolutely shocked when we found this out, and had to struggle with strong feelings of disappointment for several weeks.
Disappointment that the wonderful women I know that pray with tears for a baby still have empty arms, while I will be adding to the three I already have.
Disappointment that I have to go through nine months of being pregnant, then labor and delivery. Enough said!
Disappointment that I will have to somehow figure out how to juggle all my responsibilities while being a good mom to EACH of my children...finding that time seems overwhelming.
Disappointment with myself for my horrible attitude.
In all honesty, I was angry that I am not in control of my life. Which means, I was angry at God. It was a difficult two weeks, but also a wonderfully heart-altering two weeks. I scrawled "GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES!" across the dry-erase board in my kitchen. I meditated on scriptures that spoke of God's wisdom and providence. I thought and prayed and listened to advice.
I now realize that this child will be an amazing part of our family. That we won't be able to imagine our lives without them...
I can't wait to meet our new baby!
PS. Here are the current name suggestions from Asher and Colin:
Boy: Indiana Jones Hausam or John Fighter Hausam
Girl: Miss Rose Hausam, Miss Prettyface Hausam or Paprika Hausam
i love reading about the process of a heart being changed. pal, thanks for posting the transitions. and thanks for letting me be apart of that change.
ReplyDeletelove you & yours!
I like Paprika Hausam. Has a nice ring to it ;)
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