It's Time

My ankles disappeared last week.

The baby's head dropped into position, making me constantly wonder if I need to pee or not...and of course, that's not something you can leave to chance!

My back and pelvis ache, my stomach skin is about to split, and I think my ribs are permanently bruised from little baby feet.

BUT, tomorrow is my due date! The day that promises that my body's aches will soon be over, and our family will be able to hold a tiny, sweet-smelling little boy. I don't expect him to arrive right on his due date, but it's enough for me to know that the time is here...he will probably join us some day this week!

I also enjoy knowing that this little guy will complete our family (at least the members I am responsible to give birth to!). I can't express how much I am looking forward to this next stage of life...turning back into "Rachel" instead of "pregnant mom".

Funny story...we always keep our baby's name a secret until they're born (I know, I know), so the other day I told the boys that one of our favorite names for the new baby starts with a 'W'. Asher's guess?

Wedgie Hausam.

Overwhelmed

It's been a busy summer. Things have been happening left and right, leaving me feeling quite a bit overwhelmed.

I found myself sitting in church on Sunday, listening to my pastor talk about seasons of life, and I decided to give up. To stop whining internally about the crazy life of self-denial that is the life of a mom. To accept the way things are now and be willing to wait on some of my dreams. A specific dream I let go of was that of going on a trip with Nick...just the two of us. "Hopefully we'll get to go on a trip for our 10th anniversary (4 years from now)," is the literal decision I came to.

Fast forward thirty minutes. The church service is complete, and I'm sitting with my kids at a table as they munch on donuts. Nick and I are suddenly surrounded by friends and a gift is placed in our hands. As I realized what they'd given us, I couldn't help but cry.

Our amazing friends had joined together to send Nick and I on a trip for 3 nights. They'd arranged accomidations, planned activities and provided loving places for our children to stay. I was (and still am) overwhelmed.

Only now, instead of being overwhelmed by fatigue, self-pity or discouragement, I am overwhelmed by the love of the incredible people in my life. I feel their arms around me and am lifted and encouraged in this season I'm in.

And I can't wait to escape for a few days!

Revelation

I felt like the clouds parted today, and I had a revelation.

It happened as I was teaching the boys. Eva fell, so I was holding and comforting her as I attempted to teach the boys about greater & less, counting pennies, and other wonderful "math" topics.

It was during this crazy moment that I realized how our family will thrive during our years of homeschooling. It may be messy, but we will be together. Learning and sharing life in a way unique to our family...in a way Nick and I have chosen as best for our family.

I have been in love with the idea of homeschooling, but tepid at the thought of actually doing it. Today, I felt joy as I realized how right it feels to be with my children as they learn, grow, question, laugh and change. At that moment, I felt the privilege and not the sacrifice, and for that I am grateful.

Going Rogue

I have no qualms about turning 30.

In fact, I have found myself amazed at how comfortable I've become with who I am. How confident I feel in my own skin. How much I've learned. How much I am growing.

The only thing that has surprised me is my hair. I have always pictured myself as a woman who ages gracefully and naturally, with a laugh-lined face and silver hair...

I just didn't expect that silver hair to start appearing in my twenties.